It’s been almost 13weeks since I have you in my tummy lil love :’)
Before i got married, i was thinking that i want to postpone about having a baby for about minimum 1 year but not with my husband (now). And then I got married. New journey has come. A wife, and insyaAllah a mom-to-be.
My husband always wanna have a baby as soon as possible. I used to thinking that i, myself is hard to take care of my ownself and my husband later. I need to adjust what will comes in the future. I even sometime got a sudden freak out attack of the pregnancy. I used to scare to see some of woman’s big belly (hehe), i know i was so weird. And i used to think about, what would it feels like to have a moving creature inside my body. Oh geez. I used to have a lot of “toyor” from people around me! haha!.
But, after that ijab kabul had said, i feel sudden calmness and comfort. Je ne sais qoui. It feels like there’s someone i can hold onto and share my fears, happiness, anything!. And slowly, i kept thinking about “how if i have a baby soon”. I feel such a joy to see my other friends got pregnant yet unconsciously worried and sad. Why haven’t I? And that’s my turning back moment. I don’t need to be worry. If Allah says i can do it, then i can do it.
Since the moment, I pray to God to give me the best he knows. And Alhamdulillah, He knows the best for us by put a trust on us to take care of this most beautiful gift ever… :’)
Maybe i’m not the best mother in the world…
or maybe i’m not the best guidance in the world…
But… InsyaAllah, i will be the best place for you to come home whenever you need me dear… :’)